Lesson of Life #1

-NEVER EVER scream or argue with your brother like a 5-year-old even in the comforts of your own home.-

~Because you'll never know who's downstairs; it can be your nice next door neighbor bringing some "kuih-muih" she made, your mom's bestfriend coming to catch up on some "kids-go-to-your-room-this-is-adult-talk" stuff, your dad's business partner coming to discuss about the next business trip, your aunt and her good friend coming over just for a visit, etcetera etcetera.~

Go Go Power Rangers!

I found my Power Rangers robot!!!
My brother and my cousin were just unpacking his stuff from the boxes [oh we've moved ] and he found this particular box and opened it to see if there were his stuff innit and he found my old stuff along with my Power Rangers robot! =D
Oh how I loved this thing. I remember asking my dad to buy it at Parkson at The Atria, when I was around 6 or 7 or 8 years old, and I showed it off to my mom and my brother when we got home. Lol. It was rather expensive back then, so getting my dad to buy it right away after I'd asked was kind of a RARE thing, so that's why I loved that toy so much. Lol.

The sword and a few other small weapons were missing. =(



Wow it's been almost thirteen years and I still had them. =) Amazing! Lol.


And I found this too! Ha ha ha. And it's in PINK! Bright pink! And it used to be my favorite wallet. -___-"

What More Do You Want?!

GAAAAAHHH!!!

Nak kena beli MacPro pulak kah. Hadehhh. Melampau la tuh kan.
VFX oh VFX *sigh*

Motivasi

Lailaaaa!!! Stop binging on junks like chips and chocolates and ice-creams and sodas and anything sweet and unhealthy! Can't you see you're getting fatter and fatter? Your big fat flabby wobbly tummy is collecting fat and soon it'll be bigger than a 11-month-pregnant lady! And plus, you do know that Diabetes runs in your family kan? Lagi nak makan mende mende manis. Haaa dah la tak pegi gym. Tak exercise. Tak main sport. Tu baju taekwondo tu dah tgh collect dust kat rumah, sama dengan boxing gloves tu haaa. Coba coba la excersice sket ke. Sket je...sket je pun jadik la. Start going to taekwondo again. Rugi je 1st dan black belt tu yang kau dah ambik bertahon dulu. Can you even remember any of the moves? Heh. Kalau tak stop you'll probably have a 4th or 5th dan already. Mov it mov it! Eksersaisss!

Kebengapan Maksimusan

Sometime ago at the new shisha place in Cyberia:

*with much gusto and enthusiasm*
"Woah duk tepi pantai bestttt! Bangun pagiii...sunset! [with hands waving in the air pretending to throw the imaginary curtains of the imaginary posh studio loft, wiiiide open]"

*a few seconds of silence followed by bunyi ketawa berdekah-dekah dari rakan-rakan, diikuti oleh perasan malu yang menyelubungi diri*
Hahahha. -_____-"

Que Sera Sera

That's my motto now. As of this moment,I'm going to live my life by those words.
"Whatever will be, will be"

If I ever tell you,

...you'd run away, wouldn't you?
...things won't ever be the same, will it?
...you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore, would you?
...you'll ignore me and deny my existence, won't you?


Tolong jawab boleh, please?

It doesn't end there

Kan best kalau mabuk. Tak fikir apa pun. Terasa macam happy je, confident je. Terasa juga macam orang normal for at least a few hours. Cakap banyak, easier to socialize and make friends. Tak lah diam macam wallflower bodoh loser taik kambing.

Tak payah nak susah-susah pegi jumpa shrink, tell everything, get evaluated and all that shit, then get your meds. Keluar duit banyak pulak.

Meds. Meds tu pun dadah kan. Drugs kan illegal. Drugs pun haram jugak. Tapi boleh sebab untuk medical reasons whatsoever.
Sama la, alcohol pun haram. But drinking it for the same reason as taking those drugs prescribed by a qualified doctor? I don't know.
I'm already fucked up.
I don't want to get dependent on alcohol just because of that.

Tapi it's a lot easier for you to get dependent on drugs after some time. You'd have to take it every day as prescribed, tu yang buat jadi dependent. Sebab selalu ambik lepastu if tiba-tiba stop macam mana. And kalau tak ambik as prescribed nanti it won't take effect at all pulak. Drugs are more addictive.
Kalau alcohol at least we can control how much and when we want to take it.


Aahh! Apa aku merepek lagi ni. If you think I'm drunk. I'm not. No. I'm just thinking too much. Thinking about that thing I did that I always did and then regret it after. I think too much about it that it's driving me crazy. Tak boleh nak berfikir secara waras sekarang ni.

All I wanted was to let everything out and be calm.

AhaHAHAhahaAHahahahAHhh

Padan dengan muka kau. Tu lah sape suruh. Ngada2. Entah pape.
Dah bengap sangat kan. Pastu mula lah nak buat perangai tu lagi. Aku cukup benci sunggoh. Macam sial pun ada. Selalu lah macam tu. Jadi gila pun boleh. Agaknya lama-lama nanti jadi gila lah. Tunggu masa je ni.

Blogging ni bagus kan. Boleh releasekan segala-gala. The blog won't judge you. It won't ask you a lot of questions.
This is the life of the mentally-ill youth.

Now what? Babi la. Ni yang aku benci. Terasa macam deja-vu pun ada. Memang deja-vu pun tapi still buat jugak walaupun dah pernah mengalami nya. Yes what the heck yang sedang aku merepek ni. Nothing you need to know, nothing you need to understand.

Sumpah I'd do anything to get rid of this. Sumpah sumpah. The thing I hate the most. Tapi macam mana nak get rid of it. Fuck tu aku tak tau. Serabut serabut. Please please please. Anything. Even if costs a fortune. Duit boleh di cari.

Perasaan tu masih ada cuma lama tak fikir pasal tu.

The feeling of being a loser is slowly crawling back into me.

Lailaaa please will you? Tolonglah tolonglah berfikir macam orang normal. Don't be so bengap boleh tak?

Punches on the wall, hard knocks on my own head, random hittings of other objects. Marah kat diri sendiri, scold lah diri sendiri, biar rasa sakit, baru tau. Semua tu perbuatan orang gila macam yours truly.

Perlukan dadah dari doctor untuk solution. Judge me all you want. Call me crazy. Call me a lunatic. Call me a psycho.

I really feel like crying now. I wanna cry out loud.

And I'm not just PMS-ing.


Okay,
Thanks. =)

Levi's 501 Live Unbuttoned Big Bash Party

Got a free ticket thanks to Kerchik. Tapi actually tak payah beli pun takpa. Just register at the booth near the gate and you can get in for free. Bummer to those who actually bought the tix. Har har har. The journey started at approximately 6pm where I got out of Cyberia and waited for quite sometime for the bus to Putrajaya Central. Then I waited for 20 minutes for the ERL to Bandar Tasik Selatan, then from there I took the LRT to Masjid Jamek. Kerchik texted me several times asking me where I was. Bosan katanya. Lol. Mok was on the way too he said. Waited for a cab for what I felt like hours, managed to stop a few cabs but all of 'em, fucking ALL OF THEM didn't want to go to KL Tower. "Traffic jam laah dik." Demmit yuh. So, tewas, I decided to take another LRT to Dang Wangi. Waited for a cab too tapi tade. I was kinda scared because it was already dark and I'm alone and the place was kinda sunyi. But I decided to walk anyway. Then something scary happened. This mamat and his friend on a bike passed by and then they saw me alone and they we're like starring and slowing down and then they started to turn around! "Oh fuck!", I thought. Thank god ada Hard Rock Cafe and hotel at the front there, so I walked very very fast towards that place. Kat situ dah start ramai orang dah so I was relieved. I looked around and those guys weren't there anymore. Hehe. I walked and looked to my left, "Hmm dekat jeh KL Tower tuuh Sket je lagi. Bole bole ni." I walked and I walked and I walked and I walked up the hill. ALAAAASSSS! Sampai juge! 9pm. One hell of a journey. Heh. I was sweating like a pig. Took the shuttle up to the tower. Was about to call Kerchik when I saw him standing in front of the booth. I thought he was with the others. Rupa2 nya sorang dari pukul 6.30pm tadi. Hoh, sorry Kerchik, "pubic" transport, biasa lah. Hihi. Anyways, he gave me the ticket and we both went up. Oh guess what? He told me that the event had JUST started. Haaaah 7pm onwards kata flyers nya eh. But lucky for me though I didnt miss anything. =p Tee hee hee. A few moments later, Mok came. Then towards the end, Adi, Paid, Apis, Leonard, came. At the end of it, Prang, Faris, Joe and their friends came. Oh and I saw Apiq gg.com and Fahimie there too.

The party turned put to be a bit of a disappointment. Agak bosan tapi layan kan aje. Not bad actually the performances and the performers. Just the crowd. I wanted to take photos with Richard J but was too shy to ask and soon after, he left. =p Hahah. Dapat gamba dengan Sleeq pun jadi laah kan. Then the some orang2 DBKL came and ended the party. They just had to crash it huh. After that Prang and his gang decided to hit Heritage. Malam masih muda. Got some time for at least some real party. But unfortunately there were too many of us. Like 12 kot. So we just went to Mojo and they ordered for 2 towers of beer. A few of Prang's friend didn't managed to get in because they were under 21. Soon after, Adi found out that they haven't paid for the beers yet (tapi dah habis di teguk oleh mereka2 dah pun. haha.), and sooo he quickly hinted us to just dash out of the place. But then Apis went missing. He told us he wanted to go eat. So they all cari2 laa dekat Bukhary tu tapi no sign. His phone was out of batt so we coulnd't contact him. Setelah agak lama mencari, jumpa kat kedai mana tah. Damn we were all worried sick that if he'd went back to Mojo to find us, he'd get fucked because of that drink and dash thing.
Anywho, we went for some nasi lemak at Kampung Baru. De best! Haha.
Malam yang agak mendukacitakan. Rasa menyesal tu ada. Baik pegi Hed Kandi (which was our initial plan but then Live Unbuttoned sounded like a cool party to go to, we decided to cancel Hed Kandi, which happened to be quite a disappointing mistake).

Prang: Mesti kau bosan kan Laila?
Me: Agak la.
Prang: Tu aa kan. Menyesal kan? Baik pegi Hed Kandi kan?
Me: Tau takpee. Haha.
Prang: Aku rasa bersalah gile doh kat Nadia.
Me: Tu la dia dgn Nina dah pakai cantik2 dah.
Prang: Tu aah dia doh. Rasa menyesal ada jauh di lubuk hati.
*continue makan nasi lemak yang enak sambil memikirkan betapa bestnya Hed Kandi yang telah pun habis tadi. Kalau lah...if only.*

=(

Mom called and said that dad's been stranded in Bangkok since last week. Due to this. She scolded me, "Tak tengok berita ke?" And I said, "Mana ada tv kat sini" (Padahal kalau ada pun bukan nya tengok jugak =p). "Surat khabar pun tak baca?". "Err...tak". "Haa...tu lah".
Eeee...I've always hated Thailand (No offence to all Thais out there). From all the countries I've been to, Thailand is the worst. Again, sorry but, it's just that, the environment is like sooo so very tak best and tak selesa. I mean, the beaches and the Thai cuisine are great but the city...urrghh. It's like I can't even breathe. Even dusty Cairo is way better.
Anywho, let's just pray and hope dad's gonna be alright. =)
I miss youu Abah!