I have nothing

i don't;
get good grades
have good looks
have nice clothes
have nice house
have many friends
have a happy family
have a life
have someone who cares
have someone who listens
feel happy

but

i do;

have stupidity
have crappy house
have crappy clolthes
have stupid style
have a fucked up family
have a sad life
hate my life
hate myself

Family crisis?

Last week's episode of Gol dan Gincu; Eddy's family reminded me of my own family. Except that I don't have a hot guy as my younger brother and I'm not as pretty as Eddy's elder sister, I'm not going to New York and my brother isn't studying in Aussie. Lol.

So anyway...well, at least my parents aren't fighting like Eddy's parents. At least not anymore. They used to fight a lot back then when I was young. Sometimes I even wonder if they would get a divorce. But until now they're still together =). Maybe it was because my brother and I were still too young and they wouldn't want us to grow up without one parent, or maybe just because my mom is one strong woman =). All these years, my mom had coped with my dad's temperament. I respect my mom and envy her strength and patience. But somehow I didnt inherit that value, I ended up acting like my dad. A person who gets mad easily, NOT patient at all, blablabla. *sigh* I wanna change. I wanna be someone better someone useful.

Fucked up circadian rhythm..must reset biological clock!

Dancing in moonlight ...everybody's dancing in the mooooonlightttt ...lalallalal . Lol. Actually that's the song I'm listening to right now Dancing In The Moonlight by Toploader, soundtrack from A Walk To Remember. The soundtrack got great songs . Hehe. Gosh, I'm kinda confused right now...everything's like blurry ...thought it was daytime . Didn't sleep the whole night last night...well I slept la like 30 minutes. Why? Well, I was photoshop-ing...heh. Sat in from of the laptop for like more than 5 hours. I know...bad very bad. Went to bed at 5 something then couldn't sleep. Until 6 something then I realized I had to wake up at 7.30 cuz I had to go for the driving workshop! Shit! Finally 7 something I fell asleep. Woke up at about 8 am at the sound of my mom shouting. The alarm, which I suppose was ringing since 7.30am, was still ringing. Well, I heard the alarm rang but weird thing is..I couldn't wake up..I was like half asleep. Yeah...REM sleep...hehe...all your muscles are paralized when you're in this state of sleep and if you suddenly woke up during REM sleep, you can't move...you're awake but you're paralized. Lol. Learnt that in Psychology 201 .

Ahh well...the workshop today was alright I guess. Was sleepy the whole time. Nasib baik it was only 3 hours. Then this Friday is the 3-hour practical. After that, I'll get my L license. Was suppose to go to Taylor's Music Club meeting for the rock band division that day but had to cancel. According to Joyce they're gonna discuss about the "trip" to the Rocksafe gig this Saturday. O well, I'll just ask her later about the meeting.

Aaarghh! I missed Joyce's beer and cake party at Asia Cafe yesterday! Woke up late . It was her 18th birthday. She said at the end of the party, the leftover cake was thrown at her face. LOL! Damn I should have come...haha...then I can throw the cake too. Hahaha.

Took me about 3-5 hours just to do this :

Funny...how I can stay up late, concentrate and do stuff with Photoshop for hours but when it comes to other important things like doing assignments/homeworks/etc. I couldn't even last for 1 hour.

It's over!

Yeay! They finals are over and the holidays have started. But only 2 weeks tho . But it's better than nothing. Lol. Anyway...aaaaaaaaaaaaa...got my Psychology result already! Just did the paper on Friday morning and then in evening, I checked the Blackboard site and the results were there like what the fuck I just did the paper like in the morning ! I got 70% thats like a fucking C! Aaargh! But my marks for most of the assignments/quizzess/etc were just around the average so I sure hope Mrs. Singh would curve the final grade, if she does I might get a C+ or a B- or B. O please please let her curve the grade . Oh but then my friend told me that Mrs. Singh havent add our presentation marks yet. Pheww! Thank god!

And I bought the bass boost earphone! Wheeee..... It's not the same model. The one I want wasnt available so I bought another model but the difference is just that the one I wanted was silver and had the ear clip thingy. So the one I bought is cheaper laa, about RM75. The earphone rocks ! The bass is chun man. It's great when you're listening to trance/club music. Especially stuff like Benassi. Haha. It goes like dub dub dub or boom boom boom! It's awesome. But I still think a headphone is better la cuz its like big and it covers your ears but headphones like that are too expensive lar. Huhu. Then, I bought She's The Man and The Jacket DVDs. The DVDs are about 12 ringgit each and they original like wwaahh...the pirated DVDs at Subang Square costs 10 ringgit...wtf ...heh. Add another 2 ringgits dah boleh beli the original one. Ape daa mahal sgt. Hish. Hmm...I wanted to buy A New World too but tak cukup duit . Nvm, next time.

Wheee...I went for the theory class for driving last week. Hehe. Actually last Saturday was the test but the systems were offline...heh. So today I'm going lah... hope I pass then I can get my L license. Aahhh anyway...glad that the semester is over, now I can finally relax and read all of the books I bought and watch movies and photoshop some pics. But one thing that's sad is, last Thursday was the last time I saw him . He's going to transfer to another college but he's still gonna be around here tho. Hmm, but then again, it's not like I'm gonna see him anyway . O well, at least I still get to chat with him .

Uh oh

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Hmmm...

You Are: 40% Dog, 60% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude. However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

You Have Low Self Esteem 80% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

Oh my!

You Are 32% Lady

You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside. And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.

Are You A Lady?

Your Brain is 40% Female, 60% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I miss...

the good times we had
the times when we used hang out almost everyday
the times when you where there when I needed someone
the way we used to make fun of each other
the way you used to call me _ _ _ _ _ _

I miss,
talking to you
chatting with you
hanging out with you

You said I am your _ _ _ _ _ _
But you left me just like that
Or am I just another spare or platform for you to bounce back on?

I miss you
But it's all too late now

Uuurrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE MY PHONE!!! 'nuff said.

...

Went to Alamanda with my whole family yesterday. My dad came home last week and my bro came home yesterday afternoon. Actually my brother wasnt suppose to come home but my dad insisted and wrote a letter to the school's principal saying that there has been a family emergency or something like that. Lol. Yeah cuz it's like it's hard for both of them to see each other. I mean, my dad's is Abu Dhabi and my brother's in a boarding school so whenever my dad comes home, my brother is in school and when my brother is on holiday, my dad's in Abu Dhabi. So yesterday was like one of our big family night out since like ages.

Alamanda reminded me of the malls in Abu Dhabi. Lol. Cuz it's so clean and modern and simple but nice. Ahh. cant wait to go back to Abu Dhabi again at the end of this year. Hehe. Yeah so anyway, it's our first time to Alamanda and my dad was like driving round and round the mall searching for the parking area. LOL. Then we went in. Well, actually me and my mom wanted to like window shop and check out the stores and all . But ya know guys...they don't like to do those kinda stuff so my dad suggested we just go for a drink and then go to Carrefour to buy the carrom board that me and my mom wanted...lol. So we went to Starbucks. My dad and bro ordered some cakes...aaaa...I wanted too, they're VERY tempting but I just ate something at home and I have to watch what I eat...I'm getting fat ! So I just ordered Chocolate Cream Chip Frappuccino...haha like chocolates and cream wont make me fat . But I dont like coffee very much, they smell really good but I dont like to drink em . But anyway...I cukai sikit the cakes from my dad n bro...hehe. Tak boleh tahan la...cheese cake weii. Hehe. Then we went to Carrefour. Bought a video cam...wheee. Hehe. Then me and my bro asked dad to buy a DVD player...yeah I know, so kuno kan, dah 2006 baru nak beli DVD player. Hahaha. Then the carrom board.

Anndd then...we went for dinner at this seafood restaurant called Putrajaya Seafood if I'm not mistaken. The food was good. But the rice not soo la...cepat muak. I ordered soft-shell crab! I love those crabs they're soo soft and yummy and sedap dimakan. Hehe. But I like em better stuffed in California Roll at Sushi King .

Hmm, I dont know when we're gonna go out like this again . Maybe this December when all of us are on holiday . I wish things could be like they were not so long ago.

Think they're your friends? Think again.

Now I know how it feels like to be used by other people. You did all the work but other people get the name/fame. Actually I dont care about fame and all those stuff but what bothers me is, when you did a lot of work...and I mean A LOT and it ain't easy mind you, and no one actually appreaciates you for doing it, you thought you were part of the "team", and then when everything goes well, you and your so-called "team" feels happy and great and everything cuz you did a good job, they did a good job. But then, you found out they were having this wonderful party/celebration/dinner to celebrate the good job that they did, the "team" did, and you weren't even invited, nobody even inform you about it...nada...not a word...BUT the people who did NOTHING at all were invited, now how would you feel? Yes that's exactly how I feel. Well if the reason is that I didn't reply that "thank-you-for-helping-out-that-day" sms, I'm sorry, I ran out of credits, but if that IS really the reason why, that's just stupid. Anyways, it's not that I REALLY want to go but I felt that all my hard work done was just not appreaciated, it's like they're using me for my "skills". Heh. Wtf!

ANYWAYS...lets change the topic. Hmm... I learnt some new moves in Capoeira. Wheee!


It's kinda sketchy though


And this one I havent really "mastered" yet...lol

The Era of Good Feelings

It's the era of good feelings! No not Monroe's era of good feelings, MY era! Hehee...Why? Well because:

• My grades seemed to be improving, not much, but better than last semester's.
• My dad finally lets me take driving lessons...wheee...!
• The Local Artists Appreciation Night !
  

The Local Artists Appreciation Night last Saturday night was a blast ! Eventhough the crowd was pretty boring, the performances were fantastic ! The day started off in the morning, had to come early to set up everything, help the artists with the sound check etc. The "so-called" Summer Paradise Carnival was held during the day...well, frankly speaking, it was kinda sorta abit very the boring. Like...no one came ...okay not exactly no one but the only people that came were the students who were setting the booths (and maybe a few of their friends who probably came because they were FORCED to).

The first band that came was Poseidon. They were really nice people. They came all the way from Penang just to perform for that night. Before they came, Richard (the lead guitarist) smsed me saying that they have arrived in Subang and are on their way to Taylor's College. I got nervous ...cuz I dont even know these people and I HAVE TO TALK TO THEM . I dont like starting a conversation with strangers...unless they started first. Well, like it or not, today I just have to. So they came and I greeted them (tried my best not to sound nervous or stutter)...introduced myself, shaked hands, showed them the MPH, chatted a bit. Phew . It wasn't that bad afterall. In fact, I was kinda proud of myself for doing that cuz it's not something that I would normally do .

After that, I went down to the carpark to hangout at the "carnival". Lepak-ed at the Bantus Capoeira booth for a while and played the musical instruments . Then I saw him, wearing his cool pair of shades, so comels . Okay anyways...then Yaniz, the Rebel Scum, and Stylustiks came. They seemed friendly. I introduced myself, blablabla. Then showed them the MPH. Yaniz started to boss us around, asking for this and that, why isnt it like that?, where's the...?, can you please get..., you must put this here/there.....blablabla. Uuurrgghhh soo mengade-ngade laar that woman. Heh....

At about 4.30 Mawar and me went home to mandi and change. Then came back for the concert night. Finally after lots and lots of thinking, I got the confidence to perform Capoeira in front of the crowd . But then, as usual, after I performed, I thought I did bad and didn't believe what other people said. Then Isa's band performed, not bad . After that it was Dragon Red !!! Wheeee....! Hehe. There was this mini mosh pit that we jumped and moshed in. Lol. But it was fun! Haha. After they performed, I asked Adam (the hardcore vocalist with dreadlocks...lol) if he got more free cds . Then he said I looked familiar and I said I was on Jamtank.com, and he said, "Ooohh yeah!". I was like, "Cool! He recognized me!" Hehe. During the performances, some of us screamed like silly groupies.

Then when I was walking past Yaniz, she called me and started firing me with questions...where's the booth? isnt it suppose to start at 7? how are we gonna sell? blablabla... Like OMGGG!!!! She's such a B-I-A-T-C-H laaa . She marah Zook, Sarah, and me, in front of the other people. Eeeee...gerammnyee .

I took pictures with Dragon Red. They were so friendly and nice. I always thought that celebs are like sombong and all. Hehe. But they're not. We even chatted abit and then before they left, they said goodbye and Adam gave me a friendly hug. Awww...hehe. Then after that, took pics with Poseidon just before they left. They were friendly too. I didn't get a chance to take pics with Tempered Mental cuz they came like senyap-senyap .

Overall, the event was a blast ! I think my self-esteem improved a weeee bit that day cuz I performed in front of the crowd and talked to quite a few people whom I've never talk to . Came home at about 12.30am. Dead tired but can't sleep .